Monday, January 24, 2011


Arrogance:  Exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one's own worth or importance often by an overbearing attitude. (Merriam-Webster)

Refusing to recognize particular traits in themselves is often common in abusers, as is the uncanny ability to criticize something in someone else as they then proceed to do what they criticized.

Yet, they arrogantly claim it's "them" and not "me".

*Claiming to be an authority on a subject, yet having no education to back it up, arrogant.
*Allowing themselves to act in an angry out-of-control manner while claiming to offer insight into another's out-of-control life, arrogant.
*Seeking money for their convoluted opinions, arrogant.
*Taking advantage of others while claiming others have taken advantage of them, arrogant.
*Openly disparaging others while offering others healing, arrogant.

Ah, hypocrite also comes to mind.

Hypocrite:  1.  a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue
2.  a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. (Merriam-Webster)

Yes, the purpose of my blogs.
You continue to prove the truth to my words.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Dangerous Delusions

Wow.  People sure can delude themselves into interpreting things to their own dysfunctional views.  And they then preach their uneducated, nonsensical, contradictory, poorly written dribble as expertise.
It feeds into their sickness.  Feelings of superiority and entitlement are what make up an abuser’s M. O. If they’re not directly pummeling others with their fists, legs, or whatever, then maybe their current abuse-of-choice is conning others for money or emotional support that they’ve contrived from otherwise shattered people.
An abuser who never saw themselves that way despite the evidence, and never acknowledges the damage directly caused by them, or who twists things into thinking they are now enlightened and were too nice and that it wasn’t them, is probably more dangerous now than when they were raging, out-of-control thugs. 
The ultimate insult and arrogance to the victims left behind and those yet to be, is to impersonate and advertise themselves as a type of healer but, really, it’s nothing more than a type of extortion. And victimization yet again. All the while trying to fill their own bottomless pit of need.  
Congratulations, you’ve just hit a new low. 

Friday, October 8, 2010

An Abuser's Sob Story

Being abused is not an excuse for being an abuser.

It's funny how they turn that around. They cry, "I was abused when I was young! Boo Hoo! I was abused and so I chose an abuser! I'm a victim!"

Umm, no, you are an adult and YOU are still an abuser. You are responsible for your adult actions no matter what your past. Intensive therapy does not erase the past. Apparently it hasn't even made much of a difference on the present if there is no accountability for what went on before.

Abusers are very narcissistic. Everything revolves around them and having their needs fulfilled. They can't even see outside themselves and most times think they are entitled to whatever rage they direct. They feel someone deserved what they inflicted upon others. Then, when their lives fall apart, they cry foul. They scream how it wasn't their fault. They claim innocence.

They claim abuse.

Children act out when abused. Adults have a responsibility to help them. Adults that act out, (even if abused!) should have to take the same responsibility for their actions as those who were not abused. It doesn't matter. That's right, it doesn't matter if you were abused. You still need to act appropriately in the adult world.

The objects of your abuse are left broken and shattered while you sum it up all neat and tidy under an insulting umbrella of abuse and walk away.

Have you thought about the part you played in the demise of your own family?

Oh, I forgot. You were abused. And you chose an abuser who made you a victim.

Boo Hoo.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Parental Alienation

Sometimes it's just good parenting.

Not every person who contributes to creating a child is fit to raise that child. Not even if it's the mother. As a society, we may still side with the mother in custody cases. The word "mother" evokes images of love for the majority of people. It can be difficult to shatter that image in the public eye. Difficult, but not impossible. 

Take the case of a woman who had a child at a young age and on some accounts appeared to be striving to provide for that child. She worked off the books and also illegally collected welfare from the city. She had no contact with the child's biological father. In her child's early years, there were numerous red flags pointing to the dangerous, unstable person that would later lose her children.

She had a caring boyfriend that was a father figure to her child but instead of welcoming that stability, she constantly threatened it by bizarre confrontations. The boyfriend was a good guy, but he didn't live in a bubble. He helped others, too, and had other friends. She felt insecure by these relationships. One was a platonic relationship with an older woman. She would call, threaten and harass the older woman. She even drop-kicked her one day after seeing her talking to her boyfriend. During this time, others were calling in child abuse charges against her, but none were yet substantiated.

She was not very loyal to the boyfriend (who forgave her too many times) and ultimately ended up losing him to another. This new woman was terrorized by her. She was harassed and stalked.  Her life was threatened. She was physically assaulted by her three times, one time ending up in the hospital with a neck brace. It ended up in court with an order of protection provided. This went on for a few years up until her child was about 5 or 6 years old.

About that time, she met her husband-to-be.  Poor man. He had no idea of her violent nature. Perhaps he thought jealousy flattering. He married her. She proceeded to have 4 more children with this new guy. Soon after, however, he understood. There were violent confrontations, accusations of drug use and child abuse. They separated. And, finally, a move that he apparently felt was completely necessary.

He had his children removed by court order.

Smart man that he was, he was able to keep those children away. Most are of age to reconnect if they choose to, but not one has. A job well done.

Now, she cries to others. She threatens judges and lawyers, making a fool of herself. She has found other poor souls that have had children taken away (rightly or wrongly) and has convinced them she has been wronged and can help them. She is preying on the weak. They do not even know of her violence. I wonder how they would feel if they knew? Would they still be supportive, perhaps wrongly projecting their own feelings?

Or would they realize, like I do, that sometimes things turn out for the best.