Being abused is not an excuse for being an abuser.
It's funny how they turn that around. They cry, "I was abused when I was young! Boo Hoo! I was abused and so I chose an abuser! I'm a victim!"
Umm, no, you are an adult and YOU are still an abuser. You are responsible for your adult actions no matter what your past. Intensive therapy does not erase the past. Apparently it hasn't even made much of a difference on the present if there is no accountability for what went on before.
Abusers are very narcissistic. Everything revolves around them and having their needs fulfilled. They can't even see outside themselves and most times think they are entitled to whatever rage they direct. They feel someone deserved what they inflicted upon others. Then, when their lives fall apart, they cry foul. They scream how it wasn't their fault. They claim innocence.
They claim abuse.
Children act out when abused. Adults have a responsibility to help them. Adults that act out, (even if abused!) should have to take the same responsibility for their actions as those who were not abused. It doesn't matter. That's right, it doesn't matter if you were abused. You still need to act appropriately in the adult world.
The objects of your abuse are left broken and shattered while you sum it up all neat and tidy under an insulting umbrella of abuse and walk away.
Have you thought about the part you played in the demise of your own family?
Oh, I forgot. You were abused. And you chose an abuser who made you a victim.
Boo Hoo.
